I’m that blonde guy your mom warned you about — but she definitely looked me up later. Medium build, blue eyes, romantic tendencies I refuse to admit to, and a talent for saying the wrong thing at the perfect time. I don’t do small talk — unless it’s to make you nervous. I’m equal parts charm and chaos, and half the time you won’t know if I’m flirting or diagnosing your bad decisions. Either way, you’ll laugh, question your life choices, and probably come back for more. Most people call me sarcastic. I call it honest with better delivery. Stick around long enough and you’ll realize I’m not trying to be everyone’s cup of tea — more like the shot you weren’t ready for but secretly loved.